Here is a little divorce advice that will make coping with divorce less difficult: spare yourself and your children the headache-mediate.

Mediation gives both parties the power to negotiate alimony, child support, custody and an equitable division of assets and liabilities. In this way, you can use any divorce

information you acquire to increase your negotiating power.

When trying to negotiate a good divorce settlement, keep the following in mind:

When you are not satisfied with any of your spouse’s terms, prepare a logical rebuttal, rather than get defensive and emotional. By all means, speak up!

Be willing to try and consider your soon-to-be-estranged spouse’s wellbeing. If things get ugly, remember that a change in your approach (yes, it’s hard) can turn things around 180 degrees. Just do your best to avoid having the case go to trial. The benefits of mediating your own agreement include keeping your marital problems confidential, sparing yourself of open court proceedings and the related costs, speeding up the process and not to mention helping to make it all easier on the kids.

If you decide to have a trial, you must first fully realize that it is unlikely to be an easy divorce. Additionally, with lawyer’s fees on the rise, say goodbye to the idea of having a low cost divorce and to thousands of dollars of your hard-earned money. Be prepared to postpone your life after divorce for another year, and possibly longer. In some states, judges have been known to take more than a year to even assign a court date.

The following divorce advice may help you know what to expect when you take your case to divorce court:

Remember that a divorce trial is public. Be on time and try to behave with dignity. Resist the temptation to get angry and emotional.

Be honest with your lawyer and with the court. Knowing that you are acting with full integrity will give you confidence when making your appeals
Work with your lawyer as a team to create a winning strategy.

Join a support group. Doing this will help you to work out the emotional stuff outside of the courtroom and outside of your lawyer’s consultation time.
Dress conservatively. Keep your appearance well-groomed, simple and light. Avoid extravagance.

Speak clearly and audibly. If your words cannot be heard by everyone in the courtroom, you may be asked to repeat what you said.

Coping with divorce is often more difficult for those who need to have a trial. If there is still a possibility for mediation, do your best to work with your spouse and with both of your attorneys. At best, the professionals that you and your spouse hired are trying to offer their best divorce help to all concerned.