Join any major dating site for a while and you will see the same faces come round again and again. They are not ugly or evil or dangerous people. They are ordinary people like you and me, and yet for some reason love is eluding them.

The internet is peppered with the walking wounded. Literally tens of thousands of divorced or jilted people from all over the computerised world are looking for new love. Naturally, there are success stories with happy endings. But the vast majority are frustrated individuals who just cannot - or more accurately will not fall in love. They’ve been hurt once before - and that’s once too often. Not only that, but the pain of rejection that being divorced can engender, leads them to fear that they aren’t actually loveable. They hope and fervently believe that new love is the antidote: that they will recover from their divorce trauma if the knight or princess of their dreams shows up.

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Divorce is an upsetting process. Strong emotions of anger can remain for years. Mind-set of being cast off can even be carried over to new relationships. For many divorcing couples, the most painful part of the proceedings is often the loss of self-esteem. Confronted with hardhearted thoughts of fear and anger, many people in the process of divorcing each other are often distraught by the ease in which they seem to forsake values that they had held in deep regard such as empathy, compassion, and respect. The need to hurt often takes the place of what used to be enduring and deep love. Revenge replaces considerate. Anger supplants civility. When such humanitarian values are given up, it results in the loss of self-esteem and self-respect that is often seen in divorce procedures.

However, when couples resort to mediation, they take the help of a trained mediator to bargain with each other straight in order to appear at an contract about every aspect of their divorce, such as child support, arrangements about parenting, and dividing the property. The mediator remains an impartial third party whose special responsibility is facilitating negotiations by decisive the issues, investigative the possible solutions, and giving advice about all the matters that ought to be included in the last agreement.

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At some time or another, a lot of married people find themselves thinking about divorce. During these times they are usually at a very low point in their relationship where they feel frustrated, angry… In most cases, these thoughts of divorce are transient and typically disappear once the issues causing the stress and conflict reside.

But it is when thinking about divorce becomes a recurrent or ongoing preoccupation, that the viability of a relationship needs some serious consideration. It is when being in the relationship becomes a burden with little or no apparent benefits that it becomes very clear that there is little reason to keep it going.

At times like this, people are challenged to consider options - whether to stay married or to divorce. The decision to stay in a marriage is a personal one. No one can make that decision, but you. What may be intolerable for one person may be reasonably okay for the next. In the end, each person will have his or her own reasons for staying or leaving a marriage based on their own needs and circumstances.

There is a lot at stake in making the decision to stay married or divorce. Rarely, do people wake up one morning and impulsively decide they have had enough. Generally speaking, the decision to end a marriage is a very difficult and painful one to make. Even though divorce rates are at an all time high, society in general, still values being married. As such, the decision to divorce does not come easily. Aside from consideration such as children, money and assets, letting go of hopes and dreams can be extremely difficult.

In assessing your future and whether or not to stay married, it is best to take your time and avail yourself of marriage and divorce resources to help you in this important process.

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