Surviving the Money Issues

As you lose your spouse’s income, things can become much more difficult, especially if you were a stay at home mom previously. The first thing you need to do is find a steady, reliable source of income to help you get through these difficult times. Find something you are good at and apply for jobs in your local area. While single mothers have to juggle childcare and work, finding a job with the same hours as your child’s school hours will be helpful. If you can apply for a job in their school, that’s even better. Look at your options and think of your skills, talents, etc. that might help you get a reliable source of income for you and your children.

Surviving Loneliness

Another difficult thing you may have to deal with when you get divorced is loneliness. This can be a very terrible thing to go through and there are several ways you can reduce or eliminate your loneliness. Keep your friends close by at this time – they will be a great source of strength for you. Go out with them when you can and allow yourself to have a little fun. This can do wonders for your loneliness. Family is important too. Talk with the ones you love and let them know how you’re feeling. If the loneliness gets very difficult, consider joining some type of counseling or group therapy. Being able to talk with others who have been there can be very helpful.

Surviving Your Worry

Your worry for your children’s feelings and emotional health will probably be a huge source of stress for you. Talk with your kids about their feelings and communicate with them. Of course, you want to avoid discussing the things that caused your divorce or saying anything negative about your ex spouse but keeping communication lines open is very important. Ask them about their feelings and talk about your own feelings with them. Assure them that everything is going to be fine and that you are still a family – also, that both of their parents love them very much. This will help them become better adjusted to the situation and divorce.

Though divorce proceedings, breakup of family and the time spent without routine or certainty can impact children in many ways, the results of these divorce symptoms can usually be divided into two distinct types: physical, and mental.

The emotional impacts of divorce may be more widely understood, but it’s worth outlining their probable forms. Although each divorce is unique, councillors and psychologists have generally identified the following emotional impacts as being common.

- Guilt. Children can often be concerned that a divorce has been partly or completely caused by them. It is common for children to feel some level of guilt, even if they understand that the divorce was not entirely motivated by their behavior they frequently accept some level of responsibility without cause.

- Responsible. Just as with the guilt aspect, children are likely to feel responsible in other ways. They may feel an obligation to care for their parents, and feel it is their responsibility to re-unite them by whatever means are available to them.

- Love loss. As a consequence of the breakdown of the family environment and parental routines, children may feel a strong sense of loss, particularly loss of love from the parent who is leaving.

- Contradictory. Children may feel contradictory about their circumstances. A child may feel relieved to be away from one parent, particularly if some form of abuse was a factor in the divorce. However, they may still feel a duty to protect and help their absent parent.

Physical impacts are more difficult to identify and quantify as they typically spring from the emotional turmoil of divorce.

- Loss of sleep. Due to anxiety, or physical circumstances which interrupt the child’s usual sleep routine.

- Injury. At the extreme end of the spectrum, a child may become obstinate and aggressive in their home and school life. They may feel angry with parents and the world for the confusing course of events which have caused their situation.