The next major challenge for those who decide to get a divorce is adjusting to the changes in their lives that divorce inevitably brings. One woman found she could not being herself to get out of the house for a week. She took a week off from work and spent the time sleeping and watching old movies on television. Suddenly, the focus for her time and energy for the past two years was over. She has not realized it has so dominated her life that she was actually lost without that process to worry about. Even though it is strange, but could be understandable for anyone who has been through it.

Once a person recovers from the emotional shock of a divorce, the practical problems involved in getting resettled and establishing a new life pattern dominate a lot of their time and energy. While it is difficult to cope with the many serious adjustments to be made, it is seemingly inconsequential ones that sometimes feel overwhelming.

For instance, one problem peculiar to women is adjusting to the impact of divorce on their name. One woman describe how the dumbest things can get you down, like having to throw away a whole box of stationary imprinted with “Mrs. So & So.” She even wondered if she would have to give it back if she won s sweepstakes prize as “Mrs. So & So.”

One of the biggest adjustments to divorce is getting accustomed to the idea of being single again. The longer a person has been married, the more difficult this adjustment is likely to be. Some people find a world they never knew existed, one they cannot quite believe.

We can learn a lot about the influence of societal factors on a person’s thinking and behavior by following the course of this woman’s experience with being single again. She celebrates her fiftieth birthday during the year following her divorce and felt a lot of frustration at her current life situation without a partner. But during the entire first year she found no suitable, unattached men, and she began to feel the sexual frustration of being alone.

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Filed under: Divorce Recovery

Divorce mediation can pave the way for an uncontested divorce and therefore prevent an adversarial divorce. During divorce mediation, both parties to the divorce meet with a neutral mediator. The mediator helps the parties make informed decisions and come to an agreement about the terms of the divorce.

There are numerous issues to consider when drafting a divorce agreement. The parties are likely to have debts and property. They may have children. With children come the added decisions related to custody, visitation, child support, health insurance, and childcare expenses. A spouse may be seeking spousal support. With the mediator’s help, they would work through all the issues they need to resolve so the two of them can get through their divorce.

Mediation is flexible and confidential. Instead of parading your marital issues in front of a courtroom following the timeline allotted by the judge, the mediator works with both parties on their terms. The mediator remains neutral. They will not give advice to either party. They are there merely to help facilitate the negotiations. Mediators can also be a source of information about the divorce process and divorce law. Either party to the divorce can stop mediation at any time. No one can be forced to participate in mediation. One or both parties can have lawyers present during the mediation sessions.

There are different types of divorce mediators. Some Christian organizations offer divorce mediation, but it would be advisable to know whether or not the goal of the mediator is to assist with the divorce proceeding or reconcile the marriage. Therapists and lawyers can also act as divorce mediators. Some mediators devote their careers to divorce mediation. Full-time divorce mediators usually have backgrounds as lawyers or mental health professionals.

The cost of divorce mediation varies greatly. In most cases, both parties split the cost of mediation. Mediation usually takes place over several sessions. Mediators often charge a fee per session. Payment is usually due at the end of each session. The number of sessions needed to reach an agreement depends on the number and complexity of the issues that need to be resolved and how cooperative the parties are. Even a lengthy mediation process could save the parties involved thousands of dollars over the cost of an adversarial divorce.

The benefits of mediation are that it can lessen conflict between the parties and give each party a sense of empowerment over the divorce proceedings and resulting agreement. A good divorce mediator should be helping the parties come to a win-win agreement, where both parties feel that the agreement is fair. If both parties are satisfied with the outcome of mediation, they are more likely to adhere to the agreement. They may also have a sense of cooperation with each other, which is extremely important if children are involved. With an agreement in place, the parties can proceed with an uncontested divorce instead of an often costly adversarial divorce.

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Filed under: Mediation

Divorce law can be a convoluted process for everyone involved, especially if the couple seeking a divorce was married for an extensive period of time. Each state and country has their own system and laws in place for divorce proceedings, and the individuals involved have to be aware of every law before reaching an agreement. Finding a lawyer is just the first step in a lengthy and sometimes harrowing experience.
Divorce law involves the process of dissolving a marriage between two people who are are unable live together anymore. Laws will differ depending on the state or country you live in, so it is important to understand your legal limitations before taking any action. After contacting your lawyer, the next step in divorce proceedings is a legal separation.
Because some states don’t recognize this, you may not have the choice available to you. If separation is allowed, one of the spouses is expected to leave the home. Then the courts will issue a separation agreement which will protect all parties involved, including children, ensuring that everyone fulfills their legal responsibilities.
After a separation, divorce law proceeds to the filing of a petition to the county clerk. This is usually called the “Original Petition for Divorce.” The party filing for a divorce, called the “petitioner,” must state in the letter their reasons for filing. This letter will also include the names of both parties involved in the proceedings as well as any children involved.
The petition is then given to the “respondent,” or the other party involved. They have thirty days to seek their own attorney and give their consent to the petition. When children are involved in a divorce settlement, the petition must be recognized by both parties before either one is allowed to request legal orders to assist with child support guidelines.
Divorce law allows the collection of information on both spouses involved. This is called “discovery,” and normally consists of five steps, depending on the state where the case is handled. The first is a disclosure, where both the petitioner and the respondent list what they feel is rightfully theirs. This includes property, child custody rights, and personal assets.
The disclosures are handed out must be evaluated within thirty days. Interrogatories are a list of questions drafted by attorneys to be asked to both parties. These are handed out and must also be answered within thirty days. Some states have limitations on the amount of questions asked by attorneys. Admissions of facts are another part of the “discovery” process.
Either both or one spouse will direct claims to the other party which must be denied or accepted within the allotted time, usually thirty days. Income and personal properties are collected in the next phase, which is referred to as a request for production. The spouse that is served with a request must comply within thirty days.
Because this process involves personal information, it is usually here that divorce proceedings slow down considerably. Finally, depositions are needed to fulfill the “discovery” mechanism. Depositions are sworn testimonies of the opposing party and they usually involve witnesses and are often used in court during the divorce proceedings.
Once all the information is gathered, a mediation or trial is scheduled. Mediations are when both spouses meet with their attorneys to discuss the divorce and attempt to reach a settlement without going to court. If a settlement can not be arranged during this time, then a trial is set so both parties can argue their case in front of a judge.
Once the judge makes his or her decision, the papers are signed and a divorce is finalized. As with any court proceeding, appeals can be made if one of the parties involved feels the judges ruling was unjust.
When going through the rigors of a divorce settlement, it becomes necessary to fully understand your state’s divorce law. This is especially true when child custody and visitation rights are at stake.
Finding a lawyer you can rely on will help guide you through the legal proceedings and hopefully assist with expediting the entire process. Then the chances of you having a lengthy proceeding that matches many of the celebrity divorces you see in the news decreases.

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Filed under: Divorce Law