Divorce is tough for anyone who has to go through it, and there is no exception for the child. Recognizing relationships between the other parent and the child is needed when it comes to dealing with a child and divorce. First, parents should recognize that their decisions during and after the divorce could affect their child mentally and emotionally. Secondly, special attention is needed towards the child and his or her life with divorced parents.

Parents, children and divorce:

Decisions must be laid out on the table and discussed thoroughly between parents. Because cases involving children and divorce do not only involve two people, certain rules must be applied to avoid confusion, misunderstanding and conflict between parents and the child.

When child custody is involved, the U.S. standard focuses on the best interests of the child. Both parents may agree to share their children through visitation rights, but this is not always the case. If either one of you is filing custody or already has custody over your child, know that the main intension is to give your child the best environment to grow in and develop healthy relationships. Children are easily confused when it comes to legal matters, so whenever decisions are made, it is best to stick to them accordingly.

Dealing with your child and divorce:

As with any sudden change in life, children could have a difficult time dealing with the transitional phase of having to see their own parents split up. For those who are concerned over their child and divorce, here are some ways to ease the difficulty:

- Be firm with your decision. Clarify that divorce is a mutual decision made between you and your spouse.
- Be honest. Explain, in simple words, the reasons for the split-up, what will happen next, and so on.
- Tell your child the divorce is not his or her fault.
- Assure your child that he or she will have continuous love and support.
- Spend time with your child any way you can.
- Try to have a normal life. Although you love your child, don’t be too consumed spending almost all your time with him or her. Instead, find time for yourself. Your child needs to grow and spend time with his or her own friends too.
- Love your child and set limitations like you did before without trying to act differently.
- Don’t place your child in the middle. Remember, the divorce was decided between you and the other parent. Using a child for revenge or to make the other parent look bad can cause long-term or permanent damage to the child.
- Let your child know that disagreements can come to a compromise, and that patience is something everyone can work on together.

Remember that your child is the main concern no matter what problems may arise between you and the other parent. Take your child’s concerns into consideration and cooperate with the other parent when it comes to caring for the child.

Many grandparents hear that their child is getting a divorce and they have a lot of questions about how to help and if they’ll get to keep seeing their grandchildren. Some grandparents even find it necessary to get involved in the proceedings and seek custody. Here are some questions that grandparents frequently ask, and their answers.

1. What is the best way to support my child during divorce and custody proceedings? This question has as many answers as there are custody situations. No custody case is the same, and different people will need different help. The basic help that a grandparent can provide is emotional support. A grandparent can listen to their children, and the grandchildren, without judgement. They can also offer feedback to the parent when requested. Some parents may need more help with the children during this time, and grandparents can step in and help babysit. They can also provide financial help if the resources are available to them. If a grandparent really wants to know, they can simply ask their child what the child wants them to do.

2. Do grandparents have legal visitation rights to the grandchildren? This varied according to the state where you live, but generally a grandparent doesn’t have legal visitation. This changes if the grandparents have been awarded custody, or there are extenuating circumstances in the court. However, the best way for most grandparents to continue seeing their grandchildren is to maintain a relationship with the parents. Grandparents can plan on their child having some visitation time, and they can see the granchildren then. If it’s appropriate, grandparents can continue a relationship with the other parent and offer to babysit or watch the children to see them more.

3. How does a grandparent talk about the divorce and custody issues with the grandchildren? This is a hard question for some grandparents, and it depends on the children. Grandparents should leave most of the explaining to the parents, and offer only neutral comments if the children ask. Grandparents should not speak negatively of either parent in the presence of the children. If a child has questions, the grandparent should give a short explanation and inform the parent about it. Grandparents can listen to their grandchildren and ask them questions to find out how they’re handling things. The important thing is for the children to feel loved and supported.

4. Can grandparents get legal custody of the grandchildren? Grandparents can get custody of the children if neither parent is considered capable by the courts. In order for this to happen, the grandparent must have a history of taking care of the children in the parent’s absence. Courts prefer to grant parental custody, but if the grandparent can make a compelling case based on history and other circumstances that the child will do best with them, the courts can give them custody.

5. What is guardianship and how does it differ from custody? Many grandparents seek guardianship rather than custody because it is easier. Guardianship means that the grandparents can make legal decisions for their grandchildren and can fulfill many parental roles. This can happen if a parent and grandchildren move in with the grandparents. Both will have responsibility of the children.